This morning I woke up far too

early, bitchy and bloated to that

unavoidable monthly moment all

women face (come on menopause,

hurry up and get here!!).  In the

process of getting the children

ready for school, and trying not to

be impatient with the constant

chatter we hit upon the topic of

age.  For some reason all children

want to be older than what they

are. My 7 year old wishes he were

10.. then life would be great

because he could walk down the

road to his friend’s house

unaccompanied.    Every child I’ve

ever spoken to wishes this

blessing upon themselves, to be

more grown up.  All except my 5

year old who wishes he was a baby

again because he says,  ” I was so

cute” .  So I asked, “Do you not

think you are cute now?”  His

reply ” I am only kind of cute now,

but I am growing up.  Babies are

very cute”  This lead him to

discover a new philosophy: For

every birthday we skip, we grow a

year younger.  He is looking

forward to growing younger as the

years go by and reasons that when

he is 9 he will be at the perfect

baby age  to achieve his ideal

cuteness.  In the meantime he will

have to suffer through days of

“boring, nothing to do” school and

cleaning his room.  Which he

finds annoying because he will

just have to dump everything out

again to find that one perfect toy

to play with.  So I sit here now and

think, this one is going to be

trouble.  He, I believe will grow

into one of those who goes against

the grain of society’s rules. 

Perhaps there is hope for our up

and coming generation to make

changes for the better in our

world.

Racism seems to be a trending topic among some of my newly found friends.  One of these new friends is a black author from Brooklyn.  Her writing is very compelling and thought provoking for me.  I spent the first half of my life as a Military brat travelling the globe, living in other countries, learning new cultures.  This is something I crave.  Growing up, race was never an issue.  No one ever said to me “Hey, that’s a black girl you’re playing with”. It never would have phased me either.. my friends and I found common ground among our likes and dislikes, not of color, but of interests.  When I was eight or nine I wanted a black barbie so my friend and I could play and she could have a chance to be the princess.  I think this was my first encounter with racism.  I recall, at a party my parents were hosting, playing with my friend and over hearing one grown up tell my mother ” You let her have a black barbie??” with such disgust in her voice.  My Mother, being the lady she is smiled gently and responded ” As soon as they hit the shelves.”  This left the other woman with a wide-eyed, shocked expression.  I didn’t understand at the time, and was confused as to why this woman was so aghast at my beloved doll, my princess Kenyata. 

Moving forward in my life to my stay in New Orleans, Louisiana.  You see since I was 12 I’ve lived in the Southern United States.  At 18 I took a job waiting tables at a hotel downtown and met a great group of people who worked along side me.  During one of the many rainy seasons down here, I got off work and walked out the front door to head to my car and ran into Mikey.  Mikey is black and washed dishes at the time.  He had gotten off shift about 2 hours before I did and had been waiting for his ride that hadn’t shown up.  So I did what anyone would do and offered him a way home.  We trudged through the pouring rain to the employee section of the parking lot and as I was unlocking my doors, Mikey jumped into the back of the pick-up truck . “What are you doing Mikey??” I asked… his reply shocked me to my core when he answered ” My Daddy always told me never to get into a car with a white woman because they will kill you for that.”  “That’s absurb Mikey, it’s pouring rain, get in the truck” … ” Oh, no maam.  I appreciate the offer for a ride home, but if I can’t ride here then I’ll just have to walk”  So I drove Mikey home that day, in the back of my pick-up truck and cried.  That night i could not sleep, who could?? I kept asking myself how could racism be this prevelant in this day and age in this huge city??? How could, in today’s world, a man be mortally afraid to get a ride home??  My ten years in New Orleans was a wake up call for me.  I did have other experiences where racism demonstrated how alive and well it is indeed, but none shook me up as much as my ride home with Mikey.

I think for me, I just don’t get it?? My mind cannot grasp the hatred others feel towards people because of color or religion.  What makes us all so different??? I think what bothers me most is seeing the hurt and embarassment that is caused by someones racial slurs.  My heart breaks when my new friend writes out of anger because public racial slurs are being softened and new “racial phrases” are being created to hide the “dirty truth”.  I too am angry that the line between color cannot be crossed and overcome, that it is an invading part of our lives that continues to separate and keep apart relationships, personal or political. 

I too am angry that this dirty secret has been kept under hats for far too long.  I’ve never been quiet when I hear an injustice being served and it is being spooned out by the ton right now and I will not sit back quietly and eat it. 

To my new friend, you are a beautiful woman with a great mind.  I hope we can make a stand together against this ever evolving hatred.

I stand in front of a square of mirror each morning carefully applying the paint of an urban female warrior.  This is what I do, this is what I am trained for.  Each brush is skillfully used to embellish every facial feature to perfection.  Swirling colors to blend so you cannot tell where one stops and one begins.  My face a daily canvas to be remade to reflect sexy, charming, in control.

Golden strands of hair fall around my face in soft flowing waves. All in place designed to be stared at; to be touched.

Matching clothing flattering just the right curves of the body.. coordinated handbag and shoes with not a speck of dirt on them. Which sunglasses to wear, to tie a pretty bow on the package?

A quick look in the mirror to ensure all is right. Pretty girl staring back with empty eyes.  I look away for fear of confronting the truth. 

Inside a slow scream starts to form.. pushing it’s way up, wanting to be set free. Push it back down, it cannot escape, there is no time for dwelling on what should be.

Echos haunt my mind, “you’re such a pretty girl” ; “how can you be sad, you’re so pretty”; “you have it made, your so pretty”; “we like being around you, YOU’RE SO… FUCKING…. PRETTY”

SHUT UP!! I cannot talk to you now, I have beauty to throw around, tell your lines to somebody else. They mean nothing to me.

Look into my lifeless eyes and tell me how pretty I am once you really see me.  Tell me how pretty I am now that you know the truth, now that you see reflections of beauty in me.

Can’t wait for Halloween

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you’ll begin to think you’re a genius.

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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama’s Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,”

–Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

–Mariah Carey

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“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,”

– Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

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“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,”

–Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,”

–Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it,”

–A congressional candidate in Texas ..

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“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”

–Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”

–Al Gore, Vice President

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“I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix .”

– Dan Quayle

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“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”

–Lee Iacocca

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“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

–Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”

– Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”

–Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

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“Traditionally, most of Australia ’s imports come from overseas.”

–Keppel Enderbery

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“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”

–Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

JUST REMEMBER, EVERYONE IS STUPID SOMETIMES

PATIENCE AND WISDOM

There are so many skincare products available today and they all claim to have the best ingredients with the best results.  There are a few ingredients that I have come to love and look for in my products.

Hyaluronic acid: a natural component of our skin; I think this little guy is one of the best moisturizing factors available.  It is a property in our skin that begins to lose it’s ability to produce rapidly as we age.  So if it has a mostly hyaluronic ingredient base, I’ll go for it.  This is also what is responsible for all the creams and lotions and serums that say they will plump our wrinkles.  This is because Hyaluronic acid is a humectant.  This means it pulls moisture from the air into the molecules that causes them to plump up with the resulting effect being a firmer, less wrinkled appearance of the skin.

One of the best things you can use in an anti-aging regimen is a Vitamin C serum.  Vitamin C (L-ascorbic acid) has been clinically proven to help stimulate collagen growth.  Collagen is one of the components in our skin that can be broken down by sun exposure and time.  So naturally as we age, our collagen production slows, increasing fine lines and wrinkles. 

Vitamin C is a great preventative and I suggest beginning using it before or when you begin seeing signs of aging.  A good time to start would be in your 30’s.  A mild warning: Vitamin C can be pretty expensive, ranging from about $100 – $140.00 in serum form, but well worth it.  Typically you would use this in the morning as it is an anti-oxidant and will help fight free radicals from sun exposure. 

Some history:  Cellex-C was the first company to have L-ascorbic acid available in a stable delivery form.  This spun a new generation of serums from SkinCeuticals ( CE Ferulic, Serum 20, Serum 15) Obagi has Vitamin C serums, as does iS Clinical (Super Serum, C&E serum).  iS Clinical has updated thier formulation (advance +) that incorporates copper tripeptides into thier product.  This is an added little anti-aging boost from them. 

My favorite product from iS Clinical is Super Serum.  This has a 15% Vitamin C, hyaluronic acid, kojic acid and now the copper tripeptides.  These ingredients work synergestically to combat aging as well as help fade hyper-pigmentation.

Tips & tricks:  when I am pressed for money, I will reduce my serum usage to every other day to help make my dollar go farther.  You still get the benefits from this product as it’s been shown the C continues to work in your skin for up to 24 hours. 

Keep your serums away from heat (don’t store in the bathroom if you like hot showers) and direct sunlight.  Heat destabilizes the C in the products.  If you live in a relatively hot area, you can store your C in the refrigerator.  Ask the company, or doctor’s office you buy from to supply you with a sample of the product that you can use to keep some of the product readily at hand.  Just use the dropper to move the product from your “cool storage” to the sample bottle.  This is also great to have on hand for short trips since they take up less room and won’t hurt as much if it’s lost or damaged.

If tolerable, use the serum on the crow’s toes ( I refuse to succumb to feet) area near your eye, but do not use directly on the eyelid and don’t get it in your eye.

Whichever C serum you choose, be confident in knowing you are investing your money well.

One of my favorite got to have products in an anti-aging regimen is Vitamin A.  This is available under many names such as Trentnoin (by prescription), Retin A (by prescription), Retinol (from SkinCeuticals) and Retrinal (from Avene), and several others.  I’ve used all of the above and have had great success with them.  I am always on the look out for new things to try.

New to the market is Retriderm, another product from Biopelle.  This is the first and at this time, only retinol delivered in an oil-free, protein rich, aqueous suspension: a vehicle with high levels of soluble collagen, hydrolyzed elastin and hyaluronic acid.  Most retinols are available in a cream or emulsion, which some claim reduces the effectiveness of the retinol. 

Retriderm claims its patent pending formulation increases penetration to the skin, increases bioavailability and increases transformation to the active metabolite.  This makes for smoother, softer skin, decreased hyper-pigmentation and reduced appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. 

It is available in three strengths: A Serum = .5% for all skin types including sensitive, and people with roseca or eczema.

Serum Extra = .75 of retinol for people moving up from the lowest level or who have more advanced photoaging.

Serum Ultra = 1% retinol as the third and final step to the program. 

I am currently using the Serum Ultra as I have been using retinols for a few years now and my skin is tolerable to this level.  I suggest starting at the lowest level if you have not been using retinols.  Make sure your skin is dry when you apply retinols, some people noticed more redness and peeling when they apply this product on damp skin. If you have any unusual burning or prolonged redness, stop using the product!!! Retinols should be used at night and be sure to use a good sunscreen during the day because Vitamin A can make it easier for you get get sunburn. 

I haven’t had any of the redness or peeling commonly associated with retinol use and still notice the effects of using retinol.  My skin has maintained it’s smoothness and haven’t noticed any of my hyper-pigmented spots showing through.  So far I am happy with the new Retriderm and will continue to use it each evening.

In this crazy world of skincare, Biopelle, Inc, a Ferndale Pharma Group company, has made use of an odd anti-aging property that has been used in Europe for about 20 years. It is called SCA Biorepair Technology. SCA= secrection of the Cryptomphalus Aspersa. For those of you who aren’t up to date on your biology terms, this is a type of snail. Yes, snail.

The glycoprotein secretion has been shown to stimulate fibroblast proliferation and regenerate damaged tissues. This is accomplished by boosting collagen, elastin and hyaluronic acid production in our skin. These are three main components in the extracellular maxtrix that begin to break down from sun exposure and as we naturally age causing wrinkles and saggy skin. I am currently in the process of trying one of these products, yes it took some self convincing to put it on my skin. So far I have noticed a change in the texture of my skin, it is much smoother and I notice a plumper appearance as well. I have been using the product for about 4 weeks now but the clinical study shows it can take up to three months for full effect.

I have gotten used to the idea of putting snail secretion on my skin now and will continue to use it and look for more positive results.